Hello, hello, this is Johnny Rizzo
joining you on the overnight on the K-Spot, sports talk, KSPT!
How's everyone doing tonight? I'm gonna be with you
from 2:00 to 6:00 for all you insomniacs out there
that have a lot to talk about.
So let's jump right in and take our first caller.
Brian, from Danville.
How you doing, my man? What would you like to talk about?
Look, I know our beloved A's aren't having the best summer.
But unlike some other guys, I'm not gonna use my air time
to rip them apart, all right? I'm a loyal fan.
Instead, I'm gonna encourage everyone going out to the Coliseum tonight
to show a little support, okay? Send a little love to my man Gio;
spread the love, not the hate.
Don't get me started on the Warriors, okay?
I'm already hella-mad the way they treated Mullin.
I'm not just saying that because Chris, like myself,
is another transplanted New Yorker,
I'm saying it because he was a class act.
You really want to talk steroids scandal with me? That's fine.
I know what you're gonna say and I'm not being too harsh -
look, when a player takes steroids,
they are violating the integrity of the game.
It's cheating. Okay? So, look, fellas,
you wanna take a banned substance, go for it.
But that means no hall of fame for you.
The Tour de France! Really?
You want me to talk about bike riding?
This is a sports show! Next caller!
Whoop, that's my fiancée.
- She says you gotta hustle off. You've got a flight to catch.
- It's 6:00 already! Wow!
Time flies when you're having fun, sports fans.
This is Johnny Rizzo saying goodbye, good morning!
I'm out!
Good show, good show!
See you, Jimmy.
Just give me 10 minutes! Please, 10 minutes!
Hey, baby. - Hi.
- I'm late! I'm late. I'm sorry.
- I dunno why you decided to work last night, Johnny.
You're gonna miss your flight. The cab's already here.
- I know. I saw him. - And you forgot
to pack your suit, didn't you?
- No, I did. It's in there. - And a tie?
'Cause this is a business meeting with businessmen,
not a whole bunch of sports nerds. Seriously, you need to wear a suit.
- Baby, I'm gonna wear a suit, just not a tie.
- Okay. I think you look really good in a suit.
All right, come here and say goodbye to me.
Thank you, thank you, thank you so much for doing this.
And I know it's not how you envisioned your career going,
but if you get this job,
we're going to be back in New York right after the honeymoon.
Right? It's a good thing. - Yeah...
- Now give me a kiss. - I gotta go.
- Okay, you can go now. Ahem. Um...
Do you really want to wear that hat? It sorta makes you look like a toddler.
- I like the hat. - Um... no. Take it off.
Okay, and you have dinner with my parents on Sunday night.
- Right. - And please
call my father ''Dr. Meadows,'' okay?
He does not like to be called ''Mister.'' Can you remember that?
- I called him ''Mister'' one time. - Yeah, and it really pissed him off.
- He's only a shrink, though. - Whoa.
Okay, look, it's the least you can do considering he got you
this job interview. - Fair enough.
- All right, here's the address for the shop.
That's in Nolita, which is downtown. It's not too far from the hotel. Okay?
- Got it. I promise. - Thank you.
All right. - I love you. I'll see you.
I'll call you when I get there, yeah? Cool.
It's a voice in the back of your mind
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
It's a song It's a beautiful rhyme
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
It gets louder and louder each time
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
It's a sign that you find me all right
Oh oh oh oh oh oh Step outside and off the bus
There's more to life there's more to us
The window is open wide
Open for more
Oh oh oh Open for more
Oh oh oh
Open for more
Oh oh oh
Open for more
Oh oh oh
- Hey, hey! Look who's back! - Terry!
- There he is! All right, buddy, sit your ass down.
- Thank you, sir. - Have yourself a drink.
And do me a favour, take off that ridiculous hat.
You're in New York now, all right?
- Actually, can I grab a beer? Is that okay?
- No, you're not gonna have a beer, you're gonna have a real drink
and we're gonna have a real conversation about what's really going on.
- What do you mean, ''what's really going on?''
- You're getting married in a few weeks and I'd like to know why exactly.
- Because I love her?
- Because you love her. Look, that goes without saying.
But that doesn't mean you have to marry her, my man.
So what happened? You got caught up in the moment one night,
go deep, forget to throw a glove on? - No.
No, no. I always ''throw a glove on,'' thank you for your concern.
Just, uh... I think it's a good time. - Look,
take it from one who's been there.
Never a good time. - Oh, great.
- Never! - I disagree.
See, I think If you love someone, why wait?
You should just go for it,
you know, get on with your life. - Get on with your life?
Listen to yourself, young blood, all right?
Life is like a marathon. It's not the 100-yard dash.
It's like that single-malt scotch I just poured you, right?
You sip it. You don't shoot it. - Colourful.
But I'm not a young blood anymore, Uncle Terry.
I'm gonna be 25 next month.
- Well, la-di-fucking-da. Twenty-five? My man,
these are your prime years to go out there and make it happen.
Did you not notice all the fine ass on the street walking over here?
- Yeah, I noticed all the fine ass on the street.
- I actually don't think you did,
because there's a bevy of horny honeys out there and you know what they want?
- What do they want? - They want their pound of flesh.
And you know who they're expecting to give it to them?
- Who are they expecting's gonna give it to them?
- You. - Me? No, you!
You can, okay? Be my guest. I'm not that guy.
Besides, Claire and I have been together since college.
I love her. - Whoa, whoa.
You have been with the same chick since college?
- Yeah. You met her, actually, at my graduation party.
- This is heartbreaking, Johnny. That is the only piece of ass
you've had since then? - Okay, she's not a piece of ass.
All right? That's my fiancée. - Fine.
My apologies, all right? - Okay.
- But here's what your Uncle Terry is gonna do for you this weekend.
All right, a little wedding gift for you.
I'm gonna take you out, get you some strange.
- No, I don't really need that wedding gift. I'm good, thanks.
- How about I get you a BJ, then.
I know some chick-- - BJ!?
No BJ! No. All right?
Claire takes care of me. - Fine.
All right... Here's a thought instead.
You're going out to your mother's for lunch tomorrow, right?
- Right... - So what do you say
you let me drive you out there,
afterwards, we'll power out to the Hamptons
for the weekend? - It sounds like fun,
uncle Terry. It does. It's just...
I got some errands I told Claire I would run.
- Wh-what kind of errands do you have to run for Claire?
- She wants me to pick up a handbag, or something,
at some special shop downtown.
- Okay, my man, that settles it.
I am picking you up at your hotel, 9:00 a.m. sharp,
tomorrow morning. - I know what you're trying to do,
Uncle Terry, and I'm not interested, okay?
- Wait, you're not interested
in spending a little quality time with your uncle?
What would you rather do? You're gonna spend two days
in your shitty hotel room and do what? I'm offended, man.
- Okay, you don't stop, do you? Thank you for the drink.
I appreciate it.
- Look, I wanna spend a little time with my nephew!
That such a bad thing? - Next time. Okay?
I'm gonna take the train to my mom's, then I'm gonna get some rest.
- What better way to get some rest than to hang poolside with your uncle?
Listen to me, I'm not taking no for an answer.
- All right. Okay. 9:00 a.m.?
- Let's make it 10:00, all right?
Just to be safe. And do me a favour, lose the hat, okay?
You're too young to get married, and too old for that fucking hat.
- Right. Thank you. I'll see you tomorrow, all right?
- There he is!
What do you say, buddy? - What's going on?
- How you doing, man? - What's your deal?
You did say 10:00.
Because I said 9:00, you said 10:00, then--
- I apologize, I got a, uh... I got a phone call last night
from this girl I know. She's out in Jersey, so...
You could say I hit a little tunnel traffic this morning,
if you know what I mean. - Tunnel traffic. Nice.
- Look, by the way,
what the hell are you doing staying in this dump?
- I got a good deal online, so... - Do me a favour,
next time you come to New York, do your uncle a favour,
give me a call, let me hook you up, okay?
- All right. Thank you. Thanks.
Look, you don't mind if we head downtown first, right?
Pick up the handbag? - Let me ask you a question.
What would happen if you returned home without this... pocketbook?
- Well, I wouldn't be a man of my word.
Would I? - A man of your word?
- Yeah, I told Claire I'd pick it up. So I should really honour that promise.
- Okay. Well, I'd hate for you to have to compromise your integrity.
Let's go get your bag.
- There. Took like two seconds. - Yeah, you're a standup guy.
Can we go now? - Yes. Did you get me one?
- You like ice cream?
Johnny, listen to me.
I don't want to spend a lot of time here, all right?
'Cause I told the ladies we'd get out to the beach by 4:00.
- Ladies? What are you talking about?
You said it was just gonna be us hanging by the pool.
- Yeah, it is just going to be us.
And this sweet little thing I met last week, so...
- No, you said ''ladies.'' You said ''ladies'' just now. Plural.
- Look, I'm assuming she must have some friends.
Or maybe one friend in particular, who I heard is very hot.
Look, I know, you don't even need to talk to her.
I know you don't roll that way. So it's cool.
Don't even worry about it.
- No, that's not cool! That's not cool, Uncle Terry, okay?
If you're trying to set me up, I'm not down.
Don't be a dickwad! - What do you mean a ''dickwad?''
- You're being a dickwad, okay! If that's what you have planned,
I'm not going! - I'm joking around with you, all right?
- A toast, to Johnny.
I'm so proud of you,
my baby boy.
Agreeing to take this job.
That takes courage. - What is this job
that you two are so excited about?
- It's a good opportunity. - No, it's a great opportunity.
- It's a good opportunity.
It's something Claire set up for me - or her dad, rather.
- You know what I'm not hearing in your voice at all? Excitement.
- Yeah, it's not exactly what I wanna be doing, but the money's potentially good.
Gets me back to New York. So... - Yes, and that makes his mother
very happy. Right? - And Claire and I have an agreement
that, um, when I turn 25, if I'm not making $50,000,
I'd let her dad set me up with an interview
at his friend's company. - Whoa, wait a second.
So this job has nothing to do with sports or radio,
or anything that you care about?
- No. It's, um...
for Moving Made Easy Cardboard Box and Corrugated Products.
- They do boxes, packing supplies, shipping cartons, things of that nature.
It's a great opportunity, Johnny. - To say nothing of the benefits.
- It's cardboard fucking boxes, though? I heard that correctly?
Cardboard boxes? What the fuck are you thinking, man?!
- Hey, it's a good job. And good money. - It's not. Know what a good job is?
Talking sports on the radio. That's a great job.
Every other dude in America would love to have that gig
and you're gonna walk away from that?!
- Clogging the airways with mindless debates
about who should be batting fifth in the Giants lineup?
It's hardly a job. It's a hobby at best.
- Yeah, I'm with you guys. It's an awesome job.
Okay, I love it. But it's not gonna pay the bills.
- So you move into a smaller apartment.
Eat out less. Take the bus on occasion.
- Right. - You realize you're encouraging him
to stunt his personal growth? To remain a child.
Do you really want him to end up like you?
Still running around like some horny teenager?
- Hey, jealousy will get you nowhere, Frank.
- Are you insinuating I wanna sleep with other women?
I'm married to your sister, you animal.
- Let me ask you a question. Why are you doing this?
- I gave her my word, Uncle Terry, okay?
- If I'm not making $50,000-- - Yeah, yeah. I know.
Who came up with this timeline for you? - We did.
- Bullshit! - We did together, okay?
- Why do you need to be making $50,000 right now?
- Because he's getting married!
And they wanna start a family, you know. And all that costs money.
- This is bad, Johnny. This is real bad.
I do not like what I'm hearing at all. This whole job situation,
not a good thing. - I appreciate the thought.
But I dunno why we're talking about this. I've made my mind up.
On Monday, I'm going to the interview and if I'm lucky, I'll get the job.
- Atta boy! - All right, guys, well, thank you.
That was a blast, as always. - Bye.
Hey, listen. No funny business with your uncle, okay?
No wild parties. - Mm-hmm. We got it.
- He's a good boy. Don't corrupt him. - Don't worry about it.
We're just gonna get some sun, alright? - Listen,
call me on Monday after your interview. I wanna hear how it goes. Bye.
- You got it. I love you. - Be good.
That's to you! - Cheer up, Frank!
It's not that bad, buddy!
Now, look, I know she's you're mother, okay?
She's also my sister and I know her a little bit better than you.
Take it easy, sis!
She wants you to get a blowjob this weekend.
- Really? - You know that.
- Really? That's nice. That's my mom.
But you got a smile
On you honey
And you got eyes that'll light up the night
Now they're winnin'me over
Lettin'me know
There's something else
Something more...
So this lady friend we're visiting,
obviously not the same one from last night?
- What can I say, man? I'm a lucky man.
- So I guess it's safe to assume this isn't gonna blossom
into a serious and meaningful relationship.
- Well, as serious and meaningful as one can get with someone who's married.
- Wow! You know what? Good for you. Good for you, Uncle Terry.
- Look, as shocking as this may sound, man, it happens all the time.
- But don't you feel bad for her husband? - Her husband? Uh... no.
Why exactly would I feel badly for him? - Because he probably doesn't know
someone's having sex with his wife. - Yeah, I should fucking hope not!
- No, it's wrong, Uncle Terry. It's cheating! It's cheating.
You're engaging in deceit and deception. That can't feel good for you.
- It feels fine. In fact, I got a hard-on right now thinking about it.
- Oh, wow. That's nice.
- All right... finally here!
And only an hour late.
- Look, Uncle Terry...
Can I just wait here, please? - No, you're not gonna wait here.
You're gonna come inside and say hello like a gentleman.
- Oh, ''like a gentleman.'' That's choice words coming from a guy
that said he had a raging hard-on a couple minutes ago.
That's a married woman in there, okay? And you're having an affair
with said married woman. - I'm not asking you to take pictures!
- And what do you want me to do when you go in there and start...
fornicating. - We're not gonna do anything right now.
We're gonna go in and say hello. Come on. They're out back playing tennis.
- I'm just gonna say hello. Then I'm gonna leave.
- Where you gonna go? - Just gonna wait out front.
- Come on. Don't worry. Got a little surprise back here for you.
I think you're going to enjoy yourself.
There they are.
- Great. - Oh, Jesus, look at her.
Is that a fucking sight, or what? - Please tell me your lady friend
is not the young blond? - No, my man.
She is for you.
Amy!
- Hey, Terry! Back here!
Look at you, breaking a sweat.
- Terry, hey. - What do you say, doll?
- This must be your nephew. - This is him.
The nicest guy in showbiz. Meet DJ Johnny Rizzo.
- I'm Amy. - Hi.
- And this is Brooke. My tennis instructor,
who's been having a fine time kicking my ass all afternoon.
Brooke, Terry, Johnny. - Hey, guys.
- How are you? - So why don't you guys hit some balls
while Terry and I run inside real quick. I... thought maybe
we could talk about that project? - Oh, the project, yeah. Good idea.
I was actually just telling Johnny about that project, wasn't I?
- He was. - All right.
- Come on. Hit 'em dead, pal.
- Have fun. - See ya.
- Nice choice. She's a knockout. - Yeah.
But promise me he's not an asshole. - He's a terrific guy. Sexual dynamo.
Runs in the family.
- So you're a DJ. - Yep.
- That's cool. - Uh, yeah. Thanks.
I don't, like, spin records or anything like that. I, uh...
I have a sports talk show, in California.
- Oh. - It's... I do it like in Oakland.
Kinda like a suburb... - Okay.
- ... Oakland? KSPT. ''The K-Spot!''
- Well, that's cooler than if you were, like,
one of those loser nightclub DJs. - Thank you.
- So what are you doing in the Hamptons?
- Uh, I have a job interview, actually, on Monday.
Not for radio, something else.
I got really lucky - my fiancée's dad found me a great opportunity.
Make a little bit more money with some benefits, so...
I'm excited...
- I'm sorry...
Did you just say your fiancée? - Yeah.
Yeah, I'm getting married in a couple of weeks.
- Wow, congratulations! - Thanks. Thank you.
- So weird, and kind of a relief. I'm just...
I thought we were being set up. - Oh, no.
No, no, no, no, no. No, that's my uncle.
He's an asshole. He thinks I'm too young to get married.
So he's been bustin' my balls all weekend.
- Well, are you too young to be getting married?
- No. No, I'm not too young. - You look young. How old are you?
Almost 25. Thanks.
- Dude, that is too young to be getting married.
- That's not too young! Why does everyone keep saying that?
My parents got married at that age! -Yeah, how'd that work out for them?
- Okay. Okay, fair enough. They got divorced when I was eight.
- See? I told you, too young to get married.
It was the same for me. My parents got divorced when I was nine.
It's why my shrink says I only date jerks.
- Ah. Okay.
- Amy said that Terry said that you are nice to a fault.
- Sounds like him.
- Is that true? Are you nice to a fault?
- I dunno. I mean, is that such a bad thing?
- All right, Nice Guy Johnny, let's hit some balls.
- Uh... Ooh... Okay.
It's okay. I didn't think I'd be doing this!
- That one was high. - Wow, swinging for the fences there.
- I don't really talk about tennis on my show, but, uh...
I got a new respect for it, I'll tell you that.
- You should stop talking about sports and maybe start playing them.
- Thanks. Thanks for the positive reinforcement.
- How do you have any credibility with your listeners?
- I didn't know I was gonna come here to work out.
If I knew I was, I would've properly prepared.
Working out?
You call that working out? - This is hard work, yes!
- You're sucking so hard,
is that what's such a workout for ya?
- I'm done. How do you turn it off?
- You might be a nice guy,
but you're a terrible fucking tennis player.
Guilty.
It's hard. It's hard.
It was nice meeting you guys. - Nice to meet you too.
- Take care. - All right. Bye, guys.
- Pleasure. - I'll see you later.
- You most definitely will. - Hmm.
- How was that for you?
- You tell me. - Oh, awesome. He's engaged.
- No!
Oh, Terry.
- You said we were just gonna say hello. Why did you have to leave me alone
with some strange girl? - Strange? What's so strange about her?
She seemed like a delightful young lady.
- She was an awful tennis instructor, for one thing.
And I know what you're doing, and I'm not cool.
- What am I trying to do? - I'm getting married
in a couple of weeks, okay? I know you don't believe in the vows,
or whatever. But I do. So I'd appreciate if you'd refrain
from setting me up with people, okay? - Does that mean no double date tonight?
- That's really funny. Do me a favour? Quit the bullshit, okay?
- Look, you're allowed to flirt a little bit.
No one's saying you had to sleep with the girl, but have some fun.
Walk up to the line. - No, I don't wanna have any fun,
to walk up to some line. - Can you please at least admit
you thought she was hot. I'm not spending my weekend
with some closet fruitcake. - No, I'm not participating in this.
- I need to know that you can recognize that was a smoking-hot gorgeous gal.
- No, not doing this with you. - So you're saying she's a dog?
- She wasn't a dog. - There he is! All right, there's my guy.
He's not a fruitcake. Let's go.
Jesus, what a freaking gorgeous day, huh?
I hope you brought a suit, my man. - Yeah, I dunno.
I think I'm gonna go for a jog later. It's nice.
- All right, suit yourself. I am gonna have a beer,
smoke a stogie and jump in that pool.
- Oh, Uncle Terry, this is beautiful.
- Ah... thank you, man.
It is a pretty sweet pad, isn't it? - Yeah, I'm impressed.
- All right, so look, man, uh...
your bedroom is upstairs, it's the first door on the right.
And I think it actually has pink sheets, which you are going to love, I imagine.
So make yourself comfortable. My casa es su casa.
- Thank you. - I...
... need to go for a swim.
- Hey, baby, it's me. - Where are you?
I just spoke to your mother.
Why didn't you tell me you were going to the Hamptons?
- Yeah, I'm sorry. It was kind of a last-minute decision.
I really didn't know I was going until like this afternoon.
- So this was just a spur-of-the-moment decision?
- Yeah, basically. I mean, uh...
my uncle drove me to my parents' house, then invited me to come, so...
- Okay, did you at least check out of the hotel?
- No. - So we are paying for a hotel
that you're not using tonight? - Yeah. Sorry. Like I said,
it was spur of the moment. I can call and probably check out,
if you want. But I have some stuff still there.
Think it'll be a problem?
- Alright. This is what I'm talking about.
It's all connected. You seriously got to start behaving like a grownup.
This is exactly why a real job with real people
will have a real good effect on you.
I'm not being a bitch. I'm just trying to help.
- Yeah, it'll have a good effect.
- So... where are you staying?
- At my uncle's.
- How the hell can he afford a house in the Hamptons?
Is it nice? - Yeah, actually. It's really nice.
- He's such a fucking sleazebag. Did I ever tell you he tried
to hit on me at our graduation party? - What?I No, he didn't.
- Yes, he did. I mean, he wasn't being overt or anything,
but he was definitely putting the feelers out there.
- Are you sure? He was probably just flirting with you.
He's kind of a big flirt.
- No, I know the difference.
between flirting and getting hit on. Trust me. Happens all the time.
Okay, whatever, Johnny.
Just, seriously, please promise me that you will be back in the city
in time for dinner with my parents tomorrow night.
- Yes, of course. - Promise?
- Yes. Yes.
- Okay. I love you and I trust you.
- I love you too.
I just got off the phone with Claire; you hit on her at our graduation party?
- Who says this? - Claire.
My fiancée? Wow, you are an idiot! You hit on her?
- I did not hit on her! I... talked to her.
Maybe I flirted with her a little bit.
But come on, who cares? - I care!
That's my fiancée! That's not cool!
- I'm not allowed to tell a sexy woman I thought she looked beautiful?
- No! Not when that woman's my fiancée and I'm your nephew! That's wrong!
- But it was harmless, man. I wasn't gonna actually act on it.
- I should hope not! But I'm not so sure with you.
- Why not just take it as a compliment, the two of you?
- Thanks for hitting on my fiancée to pay me a compliment.
You know what? This was a mistake.
I'm gonna go for my jog, then take the train into the city, okay?
- Fine, man. Fine.
It has been a pleasure, Johnny. - Yeah.
Thanks for everything, Uncle Terry.
- Excuse meI
Hey! You!
- What can I do for you? - You can start by telling me
who you are. - I don't like your tone at all, pal.
Why don't you tell me who you are first?
- I'll tell you who I am. I am the caretaker of this property.
I look after the house for Roseanne Giordano.
- Good for you. I happen to be a very dear friend of Roseanne's.
- And I happen to be a very dear friend of her husband's.
- So maybe you'd like a fucking medal for that!
- There's no need to get hostile. I saw a car out front I didn't recognize,
I thought I should come and take a look. Is that all right with you?
- So aren't you the good neighbour? Well, now that you have taken a look,
why don't you take a fucking hike,
as well?
- Oh, you are quite rude, aren't you? Yes, well, I think I'll call Roseanne,
or maybe her husband and check up on you, Mr. Um...?
- Cunningham.
Terry Cunningham. - Yes.
All right, well, excuse me for a moment.
- Go make your call. - Hello, Roseanne.
Yes, sorry to disturb you, but Terry Cunningham
is here at the house. - Are you fuckingjoking me?
He's there right now? - Yes, he's standing there right now,
by the pool, drinking a beer. What should I do?
Shall I call the cops? - No, no, no. Don't do that.
Hmm... Let me talk to him.
- All right.
Roseanne would like to talk to you.
- What you say, doll? - TerryI
What the fuck is going on? What are you doing at my house?
- Look, I was in the neighbourhood and I figured I'd come by to say hello.
I knocked on the door and I thought I heard something,
so I figured I should check it out.
- Right, then you thought you'd just take a little swim?
- I thought since no one was here, what would be the harm?
- Do you realize how stupid this is?
What if my husband had been there this weekend?
- Then I guess we'd have some explaining to do, wouldn't we?
- Hey, I do not appreciate this.
You are taking advantage of my generosity.
And we've talked about this before.
- Doll, I apologize. Just say the word and I will leave. No problems.
- You're such a pain in my ass, you know that?
- Does that mean I have to go, because I was kinda hoping
I could spend the night. - No.
You don't have to go. You can only stay the night, though.
Now let me talk to Mr. Williams.
- With pleasure.
- Oh. Thank you.
Yes?
- He can stay the night. But you just have to make sure
he's out first thing in the morning. Can you make sure that happens?
- Yes. How does 8:00 sound?
Very good. Thank you, bye-bye.
- I hope you're pleased with yourself? - I'm just doing my job.
And I'll have you know, Roseanne wanted me
to tell you you had to be out of here by 8:00 a.m.
And wants me to come by in the morning to make sure you have, in fact, left.
- Nothing would make me happier than to see your face
at 8:00 a.m. tomorrow morning. I look forward to it.
- Smart arse, aren't you?
I'll be back.
Eight a.m.
- Yeah, how do you like your eggs?
- Hey... - Hey!
- What are you doing here? - What am I doing here?
What are you doing here? This is my spot.
- Sorry to intrude. No, I'm just out for a jog.
- You know what you should do,
you should cut that run short and come have a beer with me.
- Oh, no, no. I'm good. Thank you, though.
- Oh, come on, it's just a beer. Light beer, too. Only 95 calories.
You can maintain your girlish figure. - Oh, thank you.
No. No, I'm engaged. I, uh...
I don't think it would be appropriate. - Wow!
Don't you think that was a little presumptuous of you?
It's just a beer. - I'm just saying...
I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. I'm just... I'm just saying.
- Come on, don't be such a fucking wuss. Come have a beer with me.
- All right, one beer. One beer, if you put it that way.
- Grab a chair right here. - You got it.
- You got it? - Thank you, yes.
- All right...
Here we go.
- Oh, it's nice. - Yeah.
Look at those guys playing paddleball...
Sunshine
She's Aquarius
What what what a sign
She came from the sky
Oh oh oh oh
She came from the sky Oh oh oh oh
Just like rain
- Cold? - Yeah, you should've joined me.
- No, thank you. Just like
- You have a fresh beer?
- Yes, I do. - Ready?
- Ah...
- Cheers. - Cheers.
So what's the deal, you live here year-round or...?
- Oh, no, me and my best friend from school came out here for the summer.
Her parents have a place over in Montauk.
- Oh, yeah? Where'd you go to school?
- Loyola Marymount - in L.A.? - Yeah!
I went to San Francisco State. - Really?
- Did you play tennis for them? - Sure did.
All Conference, singles and doubles. - Wow!
- In fact, I was a seeded player.
But I gave it all up for some jerk I was seeing.
So that put an end to that dream.
- I'm sorry. So that means you're like a real jock, then.
- Ah, my father wouldn't have it any other way.
- You know what? I would love to get you on my show.
Yeah. Yeah, I'd like to do an interview, is that all right?
I think it'd be really cool. We could talk about how a, uh...
college athlete, once they graduate,
what happens then their sport is no longer the centre of universe.
I think that'd be kinda good. Would you be down for that?
- You must be hard up for guests.
- Well, I go on air at 2:00 a.m. So yeah, kinda.
- Uh, my father'll be thrilled. - All right.
Okay. Okay, you got a deal.
- Okay. - Sold!
- Hey, what if you end up taking this job on Monday?
I'm gonna miss out on my 15 minutes of fame, aren't I?
- Yeah... Yeah, I guess so.
- All right, well, then, I am definitely voting against that job.
- You wouldn't be the only one, believe me.
- So what is this new career opportunity anyhow?
- Mm-mm. No, no, no. If I tell you,
you're gonna think I'm a complete jackass.
- It can't be that bad. What is it? - Oh, it's that bad.
- What is it?
- It is for a warehouse-supervisor position,
for Moving Made Easy Cardboard Box and Corrugated Products.
- You cannot be serious? - I'm serious. I'm serious.
Look, it's not as cool as my DJ position, but it easily triples my salary, so...
- Listen, I know I just met you and I do not know a thing about you,
but just promise me you will not take that job.
I don't care how much they say they're gonna pay you.
- Yeah... It's a little late for that.
But thank you for your concern.
Well... thank you for the beer.
This was nice. But I'm gonna head back. I'm gonna try and make a train
back into the city tonight. - Oh, really?
Are you sure you don't wanna stick around? 'Cause me and my friends
are having a bonfire down at the beach. We're gonna grill up some food
and drink a little beer, smoke a little weed...
- Yeah, no. No, thank you.
It sounds like fun, though. - Oh, well...
Could be your last chance of a wild and crazy night
before you spend the rest of your life neck-deep in cardboard.
- Ah-ha. That's funny. No, I'll take a rain check, though.
- Suit yourself. - All right.
You can take these yourself? - Oh, yeah, I got it.
- Great, I'll see ya. - Yeah, bye.
Hey, if you change your mind, we'll be over at Georgica Beach!
- All right.
I'll see ya.
If you want to save the world you better find yourself a girl
Who doesn't mind
I've been in love I've been alone
I've seen a million come and go and I almost stopped trying
But now that I found you I find myself
You could be the girl
And you and I
Could save the world
In the summer of'07
When I found there was heaven in your heart
I told you mine is on my sleeve but it's easier to see it in the dark
Don't you give it up give it up give it up
'Cause if you give it up give it up give it up
You've given up given up given up
On the world
Yo, Jim, what's going on, man?
Trip's going good. I wanna check in,
see how everything was going with the show last night.
Yeah...
Yeah, he's good, man, you're right.
I'm with you. Think he'll be my replacement if I decide to leave?
No, nothing's for sure yet, man. I mean, the interview isn't till Monday.
Set in stone? Claire said that? No.
No, man, nothing's set in stone. I might not even take the job.
Yeah...
All right, I just wanna check in.
Okay, man, I'll talk to you soon. Take it easy.
- Look who's still here. What happened?
Thought you had to get back to the city.
- I took a look at the train schedule.
There was no express trains running tonight.
I'd have to stop at Babylon, transfer at Jamaica,
wait an hour. It wasn't worth it.
- This had nothing to do with the fact that you ran
into that sweet little piece of ass down at the beach, did it?
- No! And her name is Brooke, by the way. - Oh, really.
Well, guess what -
Amy told me that Brooke really likes you.
And that Brooke wants you to go to this bonfire tonight.
And I think that's a really good idea.
- Yeah? Then can you do me a favour and clean the shit out of your ears?
Because I'm engaged. It's not happening. - Yeah, I know,
because you keep reminding me, but guess what -
you are not married yet. These are your last moments of freedom,
and your lovely fiancée is 3,000 miles away
and she won't know shit.
- What do you want me to do?
Grab her by the hair, drag her behind the dunes,
fuck her brains out, hope she doesn't say anything to Claire?
Just pretend it doesn't happen? Is that your game plan?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because now you're talking my language.
Now I like the way you're thinking.
Because guess what - it happens every night,
in every town in every country across the world.
Men and women hooking up, doing what comes naturally,
vows be damned.
- I don't wanna talk about this anymore. Go ahead and enjoy your date
with your married girlfriend, okay? Enjoy your corrupt existence.
I'm gonna stay here, I'm gonna watch a little Sports Centre,
and I'm gonna go to bed with a clean conscience, okay?
- Fine, I'm just trying to help you out.
I'm passing on advice, that's all. - Thanks a lot.
- Just keep something in mind, though, okay?
Ain't nobody videotaping ya.
Have a good night. - Good night, Uncle Terry.
I've come to terms with the things that I've learned
About you and your penchant for being the person
Who goes home alone
And cries
- Hi. - Hey, Claire, it's me.
- Hey, I'm just having a drink before my bridal shower. What's up?
Hello? Earth to Johnny. Come in, please.
- I don't think you're gonna like this, but, uh...
I don't think the job interview is such a good idea.
- What?! - Look, I just don't think...
I should have to give up my dream. - Hold on.
Where's all this coming from all of a sudden?
- You knew I never thought it was a good idea to begin with, babe.
- Uh, yeah. But I also know you made me a promise.
He's pussing out on me. - I just don't see why
I need to be making $50,000 right now.
Between the two of us, we're doing okay.
- No, we are not doing okay, Johnny.
My father pays for our rent; that is not okay.
Besides, I don't wanna be okay in my life.
- Why are you in such a hurry?
Why do you wanna be so much like your parents?
- Because my parents have a wonderful life
with a big apartment that has plenty of room for children
and that's what I want! And that's what you told me
you wanted as well. - I do. I do eventually.
I just don't see why that means I have to give up my dream.
- Your dream? To be what?
- To be a sportscaster, babe, you know that. And to be honest,
I don't think it's such a long shot. I'm already on the radio.
- Yeah, barely, Johnny.
Not to mention how embarrassing this will be for my father.
- He'll get over it. - Okay, well, you know what?
You are gonna let him know you're reneging on a promise,
'cause I am not making that phone call. You are making that phone call!
In fact, no. You know what? You're gonna do it like a man!
Face to face. - Look...
... I haven't made my mind up. Okay?
Nothing's set in stone. I'm just...
thinking out loud.
- Well, you better make up your mind before tomorrow night.
Oh, cool, now I'm late for my party and I'm in a shitty mood. Thanks a lot!
- Babe.
- Wow.
Okay, please tell me the coast is clear,
because you look... phenomenal.
- Thanks.
But did you forget something?
- No, I... don't think so.
- You show up to a date empty-handed?
No wine, no flowers, no chocolates.
I mean, Terry, come on, where's the chivalry?
- I'm kinda shocked that I forgot,
because I have something... pretty special.
It's just in the car.
Give me one second. I'll be right back.
- Should I be scared or excited?
- No, I think you're... really gonna like this. It's...
Granted, it's a little unorthodox, okay? But I have a friend
who owns this little boutique downtown,
and he swears to me this is a pretty hot commodity.
So... take a look, tell me if you like it.
- Wow! Very impressive.
- A little better than a bottle of Cabernet, right?
Yes, a little better!
Please, come in.
Oh my darling - How are ya?
Love to call you mine
Oh my darling
Now that you've arrived there's so much I'd like to show you
Gonna know you - Hey.
For the rest of my life - Hey. I knew you'd show up.
- How ya doin? Ah... What's going on?
Friends of yours? - Ah, they just met.
- So... how you doin'?
- I'm doing great, but not as well as Maggie over there.
Jesus, Mags, get a room! - Were you guys watching us?
- Kinda hard not to.
- Sorry. I thought everybody had left. - No...
Still here. Just watching the show.
Hey, this is my friend Johnny I was telling you about.
- Hi. - Hi, Johnny.
You're the DJ, right? - Uh, yeah. I do like a talk-radio show.
- All right, babe, I'm outta here. - Oh.
Sorry. I'm gonna go. Are you cool? - Yeah. I'm with Johnny.
Who is much more well-endowed than that dude!
- Whip it out right here. - Yeah!
Come on, bro! Whip it out!
- So the party kind of broke up a little early, huh?
- I dunno. Depends on how you look at it.
Maybe now that you're here, the party just got started.
Oh, shit! - You okay?
- Yeah. Maggie!
Hey, Maggie!
You got my keys!
Leave them on the mat.
- Oh, careful.
That was a close one, huh?
- Can I tell you something?
- Yeah. What's up?
- It's really more like a confession.
Does that make you nervous?
- Nervous? No. Doesn't make me nervous. Do I look nervous?
- You kinda look nervous. - I'm not nervous.
No. There's just some smoke blowing in my eyes a little bit.
- I...
... have never been in love.
Is that weird?
- No, I don't think that's weird.
- I was close. I was really close.
With that jerk I was telling you about. - Mm.
- He was so romantic.
Get this. He told me...
... that I was the queen of all his dreams.
Can you believe I bought that?
- Yeah... and he stole that from a Led Zeppelin song.
Sorry.
- She really loves you?
- I hope so, we're getting married soon.
- Man, if she really loves you,
why is she making you take that stupid-ass cardboard job
when even I can tell you don't want it?
- You know, I've been struggling with that question all weekend.
But you'd be happy to know that...
... I called her and I let her know
that I'm thinking about not taking the job.
- Hey! Good for you! - Thank you. Thanks.
No, no, no. No, this is...
This isn't a good idea.
- Yeah, but what if it was just, um...
... a sweet...
little, innocent kiss?
- You're drunk. - I know.
And I'm stoned, too.
- She's stoned, too.
Mm. Mm-mm.
Mm-mm. No, no, no, no, no, no.
This is bad. Look, Brooke, I like you.
You're so pretty and I would want nothing more than to...
kiss you... right now, but I'm engaged.
I can't do this.
I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go.
- What, and leave me here all alone?
- Where are all your friends?
- Everybody's gone.
Everybody except you.
- How are you gonna get home? - I could sleep on the beach.
Have you ever slept on the beach?
- Not really a sleep-on-the-beach kinda guy.
- You could be.
- Look, how about I drive you home in your car, okay?
Then I'd drop you off and return it in the morning. Is that okay?
- You would do that?
- Yeah, of course.
- Hey, Johnny?
- Yeah?
- You really are a nice guy.
- I try. Let's go.
Come on, huh? - Hey, I'm cold.
- Here.
Let's go. Let's get you home, huh?
Careful...
Somehow I don't really know.
No, it's okay, let it go. It's fine.
We're gonna pick it up in a second.
Let's get you to the car, huh? - All right, that sounds good.
Do you wanna sing a song with me? - Maybe later, huh?
- Maybe in the car? - Yeah, yeah. We'll sing one right now.
We'll sing a song. Okay, watch yourself. - Okay, okay.
- Big step! - Oh...
- Oh...!
Okay, hang out right here.
There we go.
Okay...
Your chariot. - Who says chivalry is dead?
- Okay, okay... Okay.
There we go.
One foot... two foot. Perfect.
Be right back. I'm gonna grab the rest.
- Yeah, I'm just gonna close my eyes for a second.
- All right, I'll be right back.
Okay... This is everything you had, right? This is all your stuff?
Brooke.
Hey, Brooke.
Brooke! I don't know where you live! I don't know where to take you.
Perfect.
Shit.
- Where are we? - My uncle's place.
You passed out, so I didn't know where to take you.
I can still take you home, though. - No, no, no, it'll be fine.
- So look... I'm gonna take you to my room.
Okay, you can stay there?
- Um... okay.
- No, I'll stay on the couch.
- Got it.
- All right.
Why...
Do I apologize
For everything from what I say to what I sing
And why... Good night.
Have all my friends
Become my enemies
Do they see some other side of me
Do you say you've got one too
Perhaps I can relate to you
And everything you're going through
- I think you should call him back and apologize.
- No, I'm not gonna call him back and apologize.
- Dude, you called him a pussy. - I did not call him a pussy!
- I was standing right there! You totally said,
''I knew you would puss out.'' - Oh...
Well, I said that to you, not him.
- I know. Listen, I think you should call him back,
'cause it's like, what, 3:00 in the morning right now.
So you're gonna get his voicemail anyhow.
And just leave him a nice, nice message.
Tell him that you understand
why he's having such a hard time going on this interview.
That he still has to go anyway,
yadda, yadda, yadda... I think you should do that.
- All right, fine, I will call him. But... it really pisses me off
that I'm being made to look like the bad guy here.
- You're not the bad guy. - I know.
Ahem.
- Hello?
- What just happened?
- That sonofabitch! Some girl just answered!
- Did you dial the right number? - Yes!
I have it programmed, for chrissake! - Make sure you called the right person!
- Oh my God, I do not fucking believe this! If this fucking guy
is fucking around on me, I swear I'm gonna call Kevin Tyler,
that hot guy from the office, have him come over here,
clear these bags from this table and make sweet, vengeful love to him
on top of this thing Johnny's mom bought me!
Give me one moment.
- Hello?
- Who is this, please? - This is Brooke. Who is this, please?
- This is Claire Meadows. Would you mind explaining to me
how the hell you are answering this fucking phone
at 3:00 in the morning?!
- Wow, lady, chill out.
You are rude...
Goodbye.
- She hung up on me. She hung up on me, that bitch!
- What'd she say? - Nothing. Said I was rude and hung up.
- You're not rude! You're the nicest!
- I'm rude? I'm not the one who's answering someone else's...
fucking fiancé's phone in the middle of the night!
Holy shit...
I'm gonna cry.
- No, no, no. - Holy shit, holy shit, I'm gonna cry!
- No, no, no, no. No. Hey, hey, hey. No.
Pretty, pretty, pretty... Don't jump to conclusions, okay?
He's with his uncle, right?
So that could be some girl that's hooking up with his uncle.
- No, that's stupid.
Fuck it, I'm calling Kevin Tyler. - No! Just... call that bitch back.
Tell her she better get your fucking fiancé on the phone.
Do that.
What the... fuck?
- She's not even picking up. It's going straight to voicemail.
Ahem.
Hi, baby, it's your fiancée!
So why is it that you didn't wanna go for that job interview?
Is it because you're too busy sticking your little pencil dick
into some Long Island bitch's ass?!
Seriously, Johnny, you better have a good explanation
for why there's some whore answering your phone
at 3:00 in the morning, Johnny!
Listen, I never wanna see you again!
You are a piece of shit, Johnny Rizzo,
and I hope your fucking cock falls off!
- Okay, so that was a little bit harsher than I think we intended, but...
hey...
hey, it's Johnny.
He probably just lost his phone.
- Who the bloody hell is that?
Excuse me.
Excuse me!
Hello? What are you doing here?
What are you doing here? Open the door.
- My uncle lives here. Who are you?
- I am the caretaker of this property and you're trespassing. Now who are you?
- I'm not trespassing. This is my uncle's house.
- What uncle? I don't know any uncle.
- Terry Cunningham. - Terry Cunningham
doesn't own this house! He's a guest of Mrs. Giordano,
and he's meant to be out of here by 8:00 this morning!
So I want you to pack your bags,
and get up and go and leave.
Or otherwise. I'll... I'll call the cops.
- Wait, what? This isn't my uncle's house?
- I'm giving you five minutes. Five minutes to pack up your shit
and get out of here. I mean it, get out!
Now! Go!
- Out! - Okay!
- Five minutes.
- Brooke...
Brooke.
We gotta get going. I'm sorry. You gotta get up.
- Oh, hey.
Where am I again?
- I'm not sure, actually, whose house this is, anymore,
but this is where I'm staying and I had to take you here.
I was gonna drive you home last night. - You took me home?
Wait, did anything happen?
- No. No. - Oh, good.
- Yeah.
- Well, not that that would've been bad, necessarily...
- Yeah, you were really drunk last night. - Yeah, I got pretty wasted.
- You passed out, actually. So I didn't know where to take you,
so I took you here. Hope it's okay.
- And nothing happened? - No, nothing happened.
- Not even a... kiss?
- Kiss? Uh...
there might've been a...
... a small, innocent kiss of sorts.
No big deal.
- Oh... the innocent kiss. - Yeah.
- I remember that.
- Look, actually. Can we, um... can we get going?
There's a guy downstairs, he say's he'll call the cops
if we don't leave. - The cops?
Why? I thought you said nothing happened.
- Yeah. Nothing did happen.
But we gotta get going. I can't find my phone,
so I can't call my uncle, so I don't know what's going on.
- Y'know, I have a vague recollection of it ringing in the middle of the night
and me throwing it across the room.
- That's right, you had my sweatshirt.
- Is that it over there? - Let me see.
Shoot.
Yeah, okay. Uh...
my fiancée called. All right, I'm gonna go downstairs
and listen to the voicemail. Can you get ready?
I'll meet you down there? - Yeah, okay.
- All right. Great. - Hey, um...
Thanks for... taking care of me.
- Of course.
All right.
It was a Saturday spent sitting on the lawn
The radio was on
Soundtrack to the time I spent with you
So I listened all night long
Every number put me somewhere
From 1988 to '91
We all need the music
We all love a song
In our hearts it saves us
It saves us when we're out of whack
So ain't it time
We saved the music back
You didn't happen to pick up my cellphone last night?
- Oh...
You know, I may have.
Is that a problem? - Yeah. Yeah.
- I kinda remember some lady screaming at me. What was that?
- Yeah, that lady was my fiancée.
She left a pretty nasty voicemail asking why some girl -
I'm assuming that's you - picked up my phone
at 3:00 in the morning. - Oh, shit.
Is it bad? - Yeah, kinda!
She said something about wanting my dick to fall off?
- Wow, that would not be good. - No! No! I think she'd do it, too.
She'd rip it off! - Tough to roll as a eunuch these days,
I would think. - Yeah. Thanks.
- Do me a favour? - Yeah.
- Grab the wheel a second? - Right now?
- Yeah, it's cool, just steer. - All right.
- Good? - Yeah, right.
- Are you sure? - Yeah, yeah.
- You doing good.
Ah, yeah, this is relaxing. - Oh, that's funny!
That's funny. All right, here.
Gonna save it back
Ah save it back
Save the music back
All set? - Yeah.
Wow, you must be hungry. Is that a whole pie?
- Yeah, it's for the mother-in-law.
- Excuse me?
- It's for the mother-in-law.
- Sorry, I'm not hearing you. - That's funny.
It's for the mother-in-law. Is that better?
Got it. Got it. - Whoa.
You know you're not married yet. - Thanks.
Don't ask about the other night
I was drunk and tired
Just take a minute
Unwind
Let the sleeping dog lie
Lie...
- Hey, listen, you should just let me talk to her.
I'll tell her what really happened.
I feel bad. I feel a little responsible.
I'd feel better if I knew everything was gonna be okay with you two.
- Well, thank you, but I think
that is a very, very bad idea. - Why?
I'll just tell her what a gentleman you've been.
- Yeah, but even if you told her what happened and she believed you -
which she won't, by the way - she's still gonna wonder
why we're having breakfast first thing in the morning.
It... it's not worth it. I can handle it.
- You can tell her you made a new friend.
- I don't think she'd like the idea of me having a friend that looks like you.
- Then you better definitely not tell her what a good time we're having.
- Good time? No, there's no time for fun.
It's only: ''Hurry up, Johnny, it's time to get a job!
It's time to make some real money!
Come on, Johnny, it's time for a real career!
Stop being a kid! Grow up! You're almost 25, for fuck's sake!''
- Wow.
Sounds like you really needed to get that off your chest.
Dude, you should just call her right now.
- And say what? - I don't know, man.
Just... tell her how you feel.
- Feel about what?
Is that her?
I bet you it's her. That would be so weird.
- No. No, it's my uncle.
I'll be right back.
Hey, Uncle Terry, what's going on? - I'm at the house,
just grabbing my shit. Where are you?
- I'm at the beach, actually. With Brooke.
- Oh, really? Really?
So I guess our little talk last night did you some good after all. Huh?
Was it as mind-blowing as you imagined?
- No, it's not like that. She had too much to drink last night,
so I took her back to your place. Which, by the way,
I found out isn't actually your place, is it?
- Really? What makes you say that? - Some English guy came,
woke us up, said if we weren't out by 8:00, he'd call the cops.
So what's the deal? Is it your place or not?
- Did I actually ever say that? I don't think I did.
- Yeah, you said, ''Mi casa es su casa.''
- Seriously, how the hell could I afford a house this nice?
Look, I will pick you up in the parking lot in about 10 minutes.
- All right, cool. I'll see you in a bit.
- Everything okay? - Yeah, everything's fine.
My Uncle Terry's gonna pick me up in a bit.
- Oh, really?
So this is it?
This is the...
end of our summer fling?
- Guess so.
You wanna go swimming?
- Looks kinda rough, don't you think? I'm not the strongest swimmer.
- Come on, you got to dive in at least once before you go.
- It's gonna be cold! No!
- It'll be good for my hangover!
- If it'll be good for your hangover, all right.
- Wow.
Those waves look a little bigger... bigger than I thought!
- I told you. I said they looked rough.
- All right, are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Depends on what you're thinking.
- I'm thinking maybe, um...
let's go back. - Yeah.
- Okay. - Yeah, okay.
So, uh...
you know what you're gonna do after the summer?
- I hadn't really thought that far ahead.
You got any ideas? - Uh, you can go pro?
- Oh, I think that dream is dead.
But you know what I always wanted to do?
- What's that? - Cross-country road trip.
Maybe... find my way out to Oakland.
You should give me your phone and let me put my number in it.
That way, just in case you don't take this new job,
and you go back to your radio gig and you still want to interview me,
you'll know how to get in touch.
- Yeah...
I don't think so, Brooke.
Yeah, I had fun this weekend. I did, really.
I just... don't think that's such a good idea.
You know, I feel like it's...
a little...
- Inappropriate? - Yes.
Inappropriate. - Yeah.
You know, I just don't think Claire would understand.
Especially what happened this weekend.
- You're gonna take that job, aren't you?
- Pretty much have to. I gave so many people my word.
I dunno.
- Yo, lovers! How are you?
- Hey, Terry. How's Amy doing?
- What can I say. She's sleeping like a baby.
- So I guess this is it, huh?
- Hey, um...
thanks again for being so sweet to me last night.
- Yeah. - I had a really great time
getting to know you. - Me too.
Okay...
- Hey!
You forgot your mother-in-law's pie!
- Thanks.
- Now don't try and tell me there's nothing going on between you two,
because love is obviously in the air.
So let's just hold up here a second and let me ask you a question.
Are you sure you don't wanna stay
and take the train home tonight? I won't be offended.
- No, I'm fine. Nothing happened. It's not what you think.
- Of course, you're the type that won't kiss and tell. I understand.
I forgot who I was dealing with. Now let me smell your finger.
- That's gross. Can we go? I wanna go, please.
- Are you absolutely sure?
Because even I can tell that she's in love with you, man.
She's gonna be the one that got away, the great missed opportunity
that's gonna haunt you for the rest of your life.
You're gonna be standing on the altar, about to say ''I do,''
and the last image that flashes before your eyes...
... is gonna be that fucking beauty on that blue convertible.
All right, now if you don't think that is the case...
... let me know and I will pull out of this parking lot right now.
But if you have any doubts at all,
open that fucking door right now and run back to her.
- Can we go home... please?
- All right, kid.
Wow!
- Look, do you mind if we pull over for a second?
- What you gotta do? Take a leak? - No, I'd like to make a phone call.
And I want a little privacy, if that's okay.
- You gotta call the fiancée, huh?
The guilt is getting to you already? - Yes. If you must know, it is.
- I knew it. I knew it. I knew you'd tap that ass!
- No, I didn't tap anything. Okay? That's not what this is about.
- All right. All right. You're not the type that tells.
Young blood, admit to nothing, okay?
You're gonna go to the grave with this.
I know you think it's gonna help by confessing -
that knot in your stomach - but it won't.
- Shut up. It's ringing. It's ringing.
- Good morning, asshole.
- Claire, I can explain. - Absolutely not.
No, I'm not gonna let you explain.
- No, baby. Baby! - Fuck youI
I've done nothing but good things for you,
and you've... you've taken my kindness and my charity,
and my family's charity and spit in our face.
So you can go... you can go fuck yourself, Johnny Rizzo.
- Shit.
- That was fast.
Where did you get this pie? It's phenomenal.
- No, Uncle Terry, that was for my mother-in-law.
- Oh, shit. I didn't know. I mean...
I just ate a little bit of the crust.
- How am I supposed to give her a pie without a crust, man?!
- Sorry, you didn't say anything. What the fuck? I mean...
- Where's the purse I bought for Claire?
- Why you asking me? - I left it in the backseat.
Do you see it? - You left it in the car
with the doors unlocked and the windows open?
I mean, it's the Hamptons, but come on. You can't do that.
It's fucking stupid. - Fuck, she's gonna kill me!
She's gonna fucking kill me! Goddammit!!
- You know what?
You could maybe... maybe use this as an opportunity
to finally stand up for yourself. You could tell her, ''Hey, look, babe,
I just didn't have time--'' - Shut up!
Shut the fuck up! You are a scumbag!
My life was fine until you made me come out here this weekend!
I'm sick of your shit! Take me home!
- Look, I'll put the fucking crust back, all right?
Here, look. I'm putting it back.
- Do me a favour-- - She'll never know the difference.
- Can we not talk for the rest of the ride?
- Fine.
Here we are. - I'm sorry I called you a scumbag.
All right? I didn't mean it.
- Do me a favour?
Stop apologizing, man, all right?
Look, by most people's definition,
I am a little bit of a scumbag. And you know what?
I'm okay with it. - You're okay with being a scumbag?
That doesn't make any sense.
- Well, on the relative scale of things, I'm a pretty happy guy. Okay?
So no apology necessary. - All right.
- However, if I can, I'd like to give you one last little bit of advice?
- More advice? You're gonna give me more advice?
Okay, let's hear it.
- Stop being such a nice guy, all right?
You know what they say about nice guys.
- They finish last? - I'm not talking
about running around chasing girls, getting laid.
I know that's not your thing, you're not that guy.
You made that abundantly clear.
But stop worrying about how everybody else feels, man.
You gotta start worrying about you. What makes Johnny happy.
Okay? Because you're not doing anybody any favours
if you're unhappy and you're dissatisfied.
I think you know what I'm talking about.
- Okay. All right. I'll try.
- Cool.
Now do me a favor and get the hell outta here.
I gotta get this truck back to Jersey
before her husband gets home from his golf weekend.
I live a charmed life, my friend. - That you do.
Hey, Claire, it's me.
Look, please give me a call back. Okay? I'm gonna head out to your parents,
I'd really like to know what I'm getting myself into.
Um... I'm wearing the suit!
Uh, look, if you get this in the next 10 minutes,
please give me a call. Okay?
Um...
... I love you?
Baby, it's me again.
Okay, first of all, I didn't do anything with that girl.
Okay? I'm at your dad's house, we're gonna talk about the interview.
I'm wearing my suit! What else can I do for you?
All right, I'll call you when I'm done.
- Huh. Sonny! - Hi, sir.
- You have managed to get all of the women in my life really upset.
My wife is so pissed off at you, she left the apartment.
She doesn't even wanna see your face. - It's been a big misunderstanding, sir.
I've tried to contact Claire, she isn't picking up her phone.
- You blame her?
Come on, have a seat. Talk to me.
- Sir, it's not what you think. It's actually... kind of a funny story.
I was helping this girl and I left my phone in my pocket--
- You don't have to explain yourself to me.
I was young once, too, and I know what you're going through.
Getting married is terrifying.
And with good reason. Marriage is... hard.
- Sir, I didn't do anything. I was just helping this girl
and I left my phone in my pocket. I gave it to her--
- I. Don't. Care.
But what I would like to talk to you about is this job interview.
Claire tells me that you're having second thoughts about that as well.
- Sir, I love my job. It's the only thing I ever wanted to do.
To be honest, I'm really good at it.
- Tell me something. How much do you make at that station?
- Well, right now, not a lot. But I've been on air for four years,
I got a nice fan base. I don't know, maybe one day, it'll--
- You don't make shit! - I don't make shit.
- And you and I both know that.
And you know I'm supporting you and Claire.
- Well, sir, I don't think that's entirely true.
- Oh, really?
Really? It isn't?
Do you pay the 2,000-a-month rent for that house, or do I?
I mean, you know that, right?
You know that I pay your rent.
You are included in these monthly conversations about bills.
It's not just Claire sitting there with a calculator
and a chequebook every month. - No, of course not, sir.
And I told Claire I think we don't need to live in such a nice place.
We could eat out less and maybe take the bus.
- And how about Claire's car?
And her car insurance?
And that trip you two took to Cabo last year?
- I understand, Mr. Meadows, but I never really wanted to go to Cabo--
- Dr. Meadows. - Dr.--
- If you don't mind. I busted my ass, got through medical school.
I think I've earned the right to be called Doctor. Yeah.
- Of course. - Okay.
- Dr. Meadows, try to see where I'm coming from here.
This is my dream. I went to journalism school.
This is what I wanna do and I don't wanna give it up.
And I don't think I have to. Claire and I are still young.
We don't have to live in such a nice place.
We can cut down on our expenses, be happy with...
with less.
- You obviously don't know Claire very well, do you?
Tell me something. What does your...
dream... pay for, while I'm paying for everything else?
- It makes me happy.
- It makes you happy.
You have got one swinging pair of balls on you, kid.
- Look, Mr. ... Dr. Meadows,
I understand what kind of opportunity this is.
I do. And I appreciate it.
So I guess I am willing to sit down
with your friend tomorrow and discuss it?
If that's okay? - You're willing to sit down
and discuss it?
How very white of you.
You gotta be out of your fucking mind!
I cancelled the interview.
This is a very important man with a business to run.
I can't risk wasting his time with your wishy-washy attitude.
My advice to you is to get on a plane back to Claire,
and see if you can salvage your relationship.
Now you know your way out. Good night.
- Jimmy.
Hey, man, it's me.
Please tell me you didn't give away my time slot yet.
You didn't. That's perfect. Don't.
I'm not taking the job in New York.
That's great. I'll tell you when I see you, all right?
All right, man. Bye.
- Claire?
Baby, you home?
- Yeah, I'm in here.
Hey, baby.
Do me a favour, come sit down. - Yeah.
- We need to talk. - Yeah.
Um... you know nothing happened, right?
- Yeah, I know. I know. - Okay.
- And... I apologize
for not taking any of your phone calls...
... but I was understandably upset.
- Right. But you know I didn't cheat.
All right, I'm not that guy. I'm not wired that way.
- Yeah, I know. I know. - Okay.
- I guess I have to take some responsibility, because...
... I should never have let you go to New York alone.
We hatched this plan together,
and I should've been there to support you.
Okay, but I have some good news.
Um... I've already talked to my father...
... and he's not mad anymore.
At least he's not as furious and he's still willing to help.
- No, baby. I don't want his help, okay?
I think he's helped us enough. He made that painfully clear.
- Okay, well, you need his help.
And he's willing to reschedule the interview.
- I don't wanna do the interview.
Babe, can't you see where I'm coming from?
I like my job. It's who I am. It's what makes me happy.
And I get it. I get where you're coming from, okay?
And some things in a marriage you need to compromise,
but some things can't be compromised, some things need to be supported.
- Like what? - Like my dreams! I dunno.
I dunno.
But, baby...
Nothing would make me happier
that for you to support my dream right now.
- Johnny...
what about my dreams?
I'm at a point in my life
where I have to go after what I want.
I'm 24 years old!
I'm not gonna wait till I'm 30 to live the life I wanna live.
I'm not going to gamble my happiness on some off-chance
that you might be successful as a sportscaster.
- What do you mean, you're not gonna wait?
What does that mean?
Are you saying the wedding's off?
- No...
Not as long as you keep a promise that you made to me.
Which means going to New York and taking that job.
- Baby, you're gonna think I'm being selfish...
... and maybe I am, but...
... I gotta do what makes me happy.
I'm not leaving my job.
- Okay...
Then I guess... we're through.
Oh, uh, you didn't...
pick up my bag, did you?
- Actually, it...
... must've slipped my mind.
- Figures.
- It's a lost art, the artist stealing home,
and I'm not talking about the back end of a double steal,
I am not talking about the suicide squeeze.
I am talking about a pure steal of home. Never happens anymore.
Now some say it's because pitchers
don't have a long windup anymore,
even when there's someone on third. I don't buy it.
I think... the reason is fear.
I think base runners today have a fear of confrontation,
a fear of confrontation at home plate. Think about it.
They fear the batter is gonna miss the signal
and swing away right as they cross home.
They fear the baseball, travelling 100 miles an hour
has the same destination as their face.
They fear a collision with the catcher at home.
All these things can happen when you steal home,
which is why it's a lost art.
But I think it's time for players to start playing a little more reckless.
I think it's time for them to face their fear of confrontation
and go for it, steal home, take the chance, inspire the team,
because sometimes, when you go for it,
the payoff can be huge.
You're listening to Nice Guy Johnny, and that was your Daily Dose.
Let's jump on the line and get a couple of callers.
This one's interesting. This is from a...
first-time caller, long-time admirer,
Brooke, from Los Angeles by way of Long Island.
Ahem.
Hello, Brooke, you're on the air. What would you like to talk about?
- Well, I actually have a non-sports-related question,
if that's okay? - Okay.
I guess it depends on the question.
- Yeah, it's sort of more of a personal nature.
Do you take those? - Well, this isn't Love Line, Brooke,
but I think for this caller I can make an exception.
Shoot.
- Well, I wasjust wondering if your tennis game has improved any?
- That's funny. That's funny. For your information, it has not.
I still haven't found a good tennis instructor.
- Good to know you're still on the air, doing what you love.
- Yeah, well, I couldn't walk away from the best job in the biz.
Cost me my engagement, but, uh...
- Well, I'm... sorry to hear that.
- No, it's okay. I think it's for the best.
I'm not doing the overnight anymore.
I'm here on the afternoon drive slot, so it worked out.
So, listeners, in case you're wondering,
I am speaking with the very lovely,
lovely Brooke Palson,
recent grad and All Conference tennis star at Loyola Marymount,
down in Los Angeles.
So, Brooke...
enquiring minds wanna know...
what have you been up to?
- I am on the road. I'm taking that trip I told you about.
Your show came in about an hour ago.
- So that means you're close to Oaktown.
- I don't know, how far is Napa?
- Close enough that if you didn't stop in
and say hello, I might be a little offended?
Uh...
So what are you doing? Are you headed home to L.A.,
or are you thinking about, uh...
swinging by the Bay Area, by any chance?
- You know what, man? I'm just goin' where the road takes me.
- Well, I hope that road takes you to the studio,
because I would love to get that interview I was promised.
- Oh... Really?
- I would.
- You know, a little begging might be in order.
- Okay. All right. I'll beg.
And I think I owe you a thank-you, as well.
You're the one that convinced me I would be an idiot to leave this job.
So, um...
...here we go. Listen closely, 'cause I'm only gonna do this once.
Please, oh, please, Brooke, will you come to the studio
so I can get that interview?
- You just made my father's day.
- Great. That makes me very happy.
Um... why don't you stay on the line and I can tell you how to get here, okay?
All right, sports fans, I think we're in for a treat.
Especially me.
Uh... we're gonna take a quick commercial break.
You're listening to Nice Guy Johnny
on Oakland's number-one sports talk, KSPT,
the K-Spot.
It's a voice in the back of your mind
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
It's a song It's a beautiful rhyme
Brooke? Oh oh oh oh oh oh
It gets louder and louder each time
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
It's a sign that you find me all right
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
Step outside and off the bus
There's more to life there's more to us
The window is open wide
Open for more
Oh oh oh
Open for more
Oh oh oh
Open for more
Oh oh oh
Open for more
Oh oh oh
Watch the water rushing over me
See the world as it's meant to be
It's wonderful
See the sun as it meets the sea
See the light as it comes to me
It's beautiful
Like summertime
It's beautiful
This life